


The Census Taker

by ANGSWIN



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Twilight Series - All Media Types
Genre: Crossover, Crossover Pairings, F/M, First Meetings, Post-Canon, Pre-Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-18
Updated: 2020-04-18
Packaged: 2021-03-02 04:34:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,974
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23719774
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ANGSWIN/pseuds/ANGSWIN
Summary: After everything that had happened, Charlie just assumed that he was used to the unexpected and supernatural...and that nothing would ever be able to surprise him again.  However, that was before he was visited by the fascinating census taker from theotherside of the government!
Relationships: Hermione Granger/Charlie Swan
Comments: 22
Kudos: 98
Collections: Hermione's Haven Bingo 2020, Tropes & Fandoms 2020





	The Census Taker

**Author's Note:**

> Written to serve double duty for the  
>  **2020 Hermione’s Haven Bingo challenge**  
>  Square: B4 - Location Prompt: Forks, WA  
>  **2020 Tropes & Fandoms Challenge**  
> Roll Date: 4/15/20  
> Square: 78/Regular  
> Trope: Creature

Charlie Swan sighed as he shoved his unappealing frozen dinner into the microwave and set the timer - especially since he knew that he really should have cooked something healthier. However, it just did not seem worthwhile to go through all of the trouble and mess of cooking when he only had himself to please. After all, Bella had moved out when she had gotten married…and then she had later left the country completely with his granddaughter and the Cullens in order to protect their important family secret. 

In addition to that, his relationship with Sue had been over before it even really had time to start. It was not anybody’s fault, the two of them had just realized that the only thing they had in common, besides the fact that their children were actually supernatural beings, was their loneliness. However, they were both smart enough to realize that such feelings were not enough to build a relationship and life upon and so they decided to simply remain as friends. 

In fact…after just a little bit of awkwardness…Sue had ended up with Billy. Charlie was man enough to admit that his best friend was a much better fit for her than he could ever be. That was especially true since Billy’s son, Jake, had also left with the Cullens in order to be near Nessie. Then Sue’s son, Seth, had joined them all later, after he had finished school, in order to be near his chosen Alpha. 

It was all an extremely complicated situation that Charlie did not fully understand – especially since he was still coming to terms with the unexpected supernatural shift that his previously simple life had taken. The imprinting situation between Jake and his granddaughter had been especially difficult for him to process. Nevertheless, even Charlie finally had to reluctantly admit that it was obvious that ordinary rules could not be applied to their extraordinary family. 

At any rate, the end result was that he, Sue, and Billy were all missing someone and, consequently, there were no hard feelings between any of them at all. In fact, he had become better friends than ever with both of them because of the ordeal. Unfortunately, however, the end result was still Charlie’s microwaveable meal for one. 

~~~~~

The man was distracted from such bittersweet musings, though, when a sharp _crack_ of a noise suddenly came from the direction of his front porch. He could not immediately identify the strange sound. Therefore, his police training automatically kicked in and he cautiously made his way to the door - even as he spared a thought to the regrettable fact that he had already locked away his guns for the night. Consequently, he was both surprised and relieved when the _crack_ was followed by a light knock. He still opened it carefully, though. After all, he knew better than most that things were not always as they seemed around his sleepy little town. 

However, much to his further surprise, he opened the door to reveal an attractive woman about his age who sported both lively hair and a bright smile. As Chief of Police in a small town, he knew all of the residents by sight…and usually by name, too. Therefore, he instantly knew that she was a stranger to the area…and he could not help but to wonder if her unexpected appearance was connected in some way to the odd sound that he had heard earlier. However, all of his previous unease vanished completely with her first words.

“Hello!” She greeted him in a charming British accent. “Are you Charles Swan?” 

Charlie studied the pretty woman with the lovely accent who stood on his threshold. Despite the mystery of her identity, he felt a private little thrill run through his body from her presence. With that feeling came a small push from his subconscious that encouraged him to stand a little straighter and to automatically tighten up his abs – even though he normally kept himself in pretty good shape. 

Nevertheless, he caught himself in the act of trying to look impressive…and with a bit of self-deprecating amusement…he realized he was being ridiculous. After all, she was a complete stranger and he did not even know what she wanted. Nevertheless, he tried to ignore his sudden attraction to the unknown woman as he nodded in acknowledgement to her question. Fortunately, she did not seem to notice his initial reaction to her presence. Her smile simply widened instead and Charlie felt himself respond in kind. 

"That is wonderful news!” she continued. “I was hoping that the patrol car outside meant that I was at the right house, but I have never been to…” Here she paused to looked at what, strangely enough, seemed to be a parchment scroll that she held in her hand for reference before she continued, “…the town of Forks, Washington before. Therefore, I just wasn’t sure. At any rate, my name is Hermione…Hermione Granger. I am a…” She paused for another short moment while she thought of the correct term to use in American English but then decided to just go with what she already knew. “Well, I guess that you could call me a census taker. It is that time of the decade here, after all!”

At her proclamation, Charlie frowned and his earlier suspicion crashed back down on him in a rush. “The door-to-door method for the 2020 census was cancelled,” he answered with narrowed eyes at the thought that someone was trying to scam _him_ – the Chief of Police! “Consequently, everyone was instructed to complete it online or with the mail-in option.”

The woman did not seem to be at all unsettled by his obvious suspicion. In fact, her smile widened even further as she nodded in agreement. “That is true, Mr. Swan…but maybe it will make a little more sense to you if I explain that I work for the government agency that keeps track of the _other_ side of the population…the side to which your daughter and granddaughter now belong, as well as…if I am not mistaken…a few of your friends in the nearby town of La Push.”

Charlie froze momentarily at her implication and then his hand went automatically for his holster…before he remembered that it, and the gun it normally held, had already been removed and stored for the evening. The woman in the doorway watched his startled reaction with understanding before she reached up and gently touched his forearm.

“There is no need to worry, Mr. Swan,” she reassured him kindly. “I’m not here to harm you or your loved ones. In fact, perhaps it will ease your mind to know that even though I am neither a vampire nor a shifter, I am also a part of that extended population.” She smiled gently at him again to reassure him before she moved her hand off of his arm and over to her side. 

Charlie had just enough time to recognize that the action mirrored his previous movement and he realized a second too late that she was about to pull a weapon out of what seemed to be an invisible holster on her hip. Before he could react, however, she finished the motion with a bit of swish and a flick and he gaped in disbelief when he saw that she now held a carved stick in her hand. Even though Charlie had never seen one outside of storybooks or movies, he knew instantly what it was.

“That’s a magic wand,” he managed to croak.

“Yes, it is” she confirmed with another reassuring smile, “and, yes, I _am_ a witch…but _not_ the wicked green warty kind.”

At her confirmation, Charlie just closed his eyes and leaned against the doorway as he attempted to process the new and completely unexpected supernatural development. At the same time, however, there was a small voice in the back of his head that sounded a lot like Bella. 

_Really?_ it said. _Shouldn’t you be used to things like this by now?_

He realized that it was true and, consequently, after just a few seconds, Charlie felt more like himself again. After all, a person did not become the Chief of Police if they could not roll with the punches…even in a small town. Therefore, he immediately apologized for his bad manners as he noted that he had left the woman…and apparent witch…still standing outside on the porch as she patiently waited for him to come to terms with what she had just revealed. When she graciously waved off the apology as unnecessary, he invited her in and prepared them both some coffee (even though he really felt like he could use a beer after such a revelation). Then, he watched in appreciative silence as she performed a series of small spells from her seat at the kitchen table in order to prove her magical claim. 

Ironically, that irrefutable evidence that she was _actually_ a witch set his mind at ease immediately and he found that he was able to relax completely. After all, he was a cop…and he preferred to deal in _facts._ The evidence here was plain to see. Not only did the world unexpectedly contain vampires and wolf shifters, but apparently magic, as well.

“I don’t know why I was surprised, Ms. Granger,” he admitted in a quiet murmur and took a sip of his coffee as he watched the almost ghost-like otter that she had summoned _swim_ through the air in happy little circles around the room, “especially after everything else that has happened around here.”

“Please call me Hermione,” the woman invited pleasantly and smiled again as Charlie automatically echoed the invitation to use his first name, as well. 

“Really,” she continued. “Please don’t worry about it. After all, I understand completely.” She dismissed the otter shape with a flick of her wand. Then she made her wand disappear back into what he still surmised to be an invisible holster on her hip as she took a sip from her own cup before she resumed her explanation.

“I really do understand what you are feeling because I grew up in a normal Surrey neighborhood and my parents were ordinary dentists there. Accordingly, I did not realize that all of the strange things that I could do or that seemed to happen around me was because I was actually magical. I did not learn that until I turned eleven and was invited to attend the Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Trust me when I tell you that I experienced more than my own fair share of culture shock after that in the many years that followed.” With that bit of information, the smile fell briefly from her face as she absentmindedly rubbed her forearm through her long sleeve. 

Charlie’s well-trained eyes saw the action…and he wondered at the similarity between it and something that an abuse victim might do because of a hidden shame. Despite his sudden flash of anger that someone might have hurt such a lovely woman, however, he felt that it was probably not the right moment to ask. That was especially true since the pensive movement stopped as quickly as it had begun. Instead, he found that he was relieved that her smile had returned in full force. Consequently, he simply took another big gulp of coffee to downplay his interest and minimize what could have been an awkward situation for them both.

For her part, Hermione was not at all eager to relive her memories of the war. Accordingly, she decided to change the subject immediately, instead. Therefore, she smiled at him again as she dove straight into the business that had brought her to the small town of Forks in the first place. 

“At any rate,” she demurred, “I work for MACUSA…that stands for the Magical Congress of the United States of America…out of New York.” She then waited for a moment until he nodded his understanding before she continued. “Specifically, I am the Northwest Representative for the Department of Magical Creatures and Beings. Part of my job is to keep a reasonably accurate count of the magical populations in my region…and that includes not only the Witches and Wizards, but also others like the Vampires and Wolf Shifters with whom you are familiar and who make this part of the country their home. That’s not all, though. There are also several other sentient species that live in the overall area…such as the Sasquatch, Willatuk, Thunderbirds, Kustaka, etc.” She paused as she watched even more shock and awe filter across his face when he realized the many of the creatures he had always thought to be just local myths or legends were actually real.

“Usually my files update automatically to record status changes such as births, deaths, and relocations to or from my assigned region. However, every twenty years (instead of the ten that the non-magical government prefers) our department makes a special effort to verify that our records are correct and to get in touch with the various magical species out there to make sure that every one of them has what they need to both survive and thrive…or to figure out the best way to help them if they do not. This is my first time doing such a census here in the States and since most of these species are truly exclusive to this region, I had never had the opportunity to meet any of them before I moved to this country and took the position! Consequently, the whole process has really been quite educational and fascinating for me!” 

Despite his continued surprise at all of the new information, Charlie could not help to notice that her face lit up and she grew increasingly animated as she continued to explain her job to him. It was obviously a subject that was near and dear to her heart, and he felt his physical reaction to her from the beginning return…as he realized that he would not mind hearing more about well, _everything -_ especially if she was the one who continued to explain it to him. However, none of what she had said, as incredible as it all was, actually explained what the attractive witch was doing in _his_ kitchen at the current point in time. Nevertheless, he thought that he was beginning to see where it all led. 

“You really are here on Census business then…to check in on the magical species in _this_ area,” he guessed.

Hermione nodded happily. “Exactly!” she affirmed. “I have been making my way across the Northwest while I visited each of the different populations. However, since most of their living quarters had not been created with humans in mind…except for the Kushtaka, of course, who were luckily able to accommodate both my human and animagi forms… I have also been doing a lot of camping during that time and I am _not_ exactly fond of living out of a tent - not anymore."

Charlie tried to process the animagi comment _(Didn’t the old Tlingit stories about the Kustaka say that they were supposed to be able to turn into otters whenever they wanted? Does that mean that she can…Oh, shit! That’s so cool!)_ at the same time that the cop in him focused on her last statement. He felt that there was definitely more to that story, as well, but before he could ask about it, he found that she had pushed on with her explanation.

“At any rate, I purposely saved Forks and La Push until last because even while I needed to inquire about the vampire and shifter populations here, I also thought the area might be a nice place to set up a more permanent base for my operations. After all, I think that it would be easier for me if I settled closer to a human population instead of with the isolated clans of sentient creatures. It is my sincere hope that I will even be able to find a _real_ house for myself. After all, I am _so_ tired of living out of a bloody tent…even if it is a magical one.”

Hermione paused then and blushed a little as she realized how much she had been talking. “Sorry about that,” she murmured in embarrassment over her verbosity. “Can you tell that I haven’t been around humans or barely spoken English in months? I guessed that I missed it a little more than I thought. It’s just another reason that I need to find a place to settle that is near a human town. However, it has to still be isolated enough that I can _work_ from home without raising any suspicions. In fact, aside from the Census business, that was really the secondary issue that I wanted to discuss with _you,_ in particular. Since you are the Chief of Police, you probably know about everything that happens around here. Therefore, perhaps you know of some available properties that fit the criteria? I’m willing to renovate or even build…if I can find the right place. After all, I have quite a bit of experience with construction magic – especially since I helped to rebuild Hogwarts.”

Before he could answer, Hermione started as she realized that, in the pleasure of speaking with another human again – especially one as kind, attentive, and… _yes_ …attractive as Charlie Swan (After all, that moustache was really doing it for her for some reason – even though she was not usually a fan of facial hair on men), she had chattered on and had given away more information than she had intended. Consequently, she forced herself to refocus and apologized.

“I’m sorry, Charlie. I seem to be getting ahead of myself. We can come back to the subject of the house later, if you don’t mind. Right now, though, I really do need to ask you a few questions about your in-laws, the Cullen family.”

This time it was Charlie who smiled mysteriously - especially since he had already surmised that her “Census business” in Forks was to inquire about the whereabouts of Bella’s family. Therefore, he did not even need to wait for her question. “They're in England,” he told her. 

Hermione looked a bit taken aback by the news. “Really?” she replied with a raised eyebrow.

Charlie nodded. “From what I understand, they have properties all over the world so they can easily move from one place to the next in order to stay above suspicion before people start to notice that they obviously don’t age...or in my granddaughter's case - ages too quickly.” Nessie's differences had been another hard thing for him to understand, but he had eventually come to terms with it... _mostly._

“That makes sense," Hermione replied knowledgeably, completely at ease now with the unexpected news. "The long term cycle of movement is the standard practice for most non-nomadic vampires - especially since most of them have been collecting wealth for longer than most of us have been alive.” Charlie just snorted a bit at that remark as he remembered all of the fancy and expensive sport cars that the Cullens liked to drive.

“That explains the mystery, then,” Hermione continued. “My records indicated that the entire coven had relocated, but they did not state where. Nevertheless, England makes a lot of sense - especially since the climate in so many areas there is very similar to this region - with a majority of overcast days to protect their "sparkling" secret. However, I assume that they, or at least your daughter and granddaughter, come back for discreet visits?" 

Charlie nodded in answer to the question. Then he looked on in amazement as the woman snapped her fingers and pulled a file folder seemingly out of thin air before she proceeded to open it up on the table where they sat. "I will just make a notation of that, then, before I put their file on an "inactive" status for the time being. After all, they are no longer under my jurisdiction.” Here she paused to scribble the information down.

 _Is that a quill pen?_ Charlie wondered silently as he watched her work. _Where in the world did it come from? Probably the same place as the folder, I imagine._ He shook his head at the extraordinary situation in which he had found himself again - even as he admired the company it had brought to him. 

Hermione finished writing, closed the folder, and then snapped both it and the quill back away from where they had come before she looked back up at Charlie. “All done!" she stated with a smile that he could not help but return before the expression on her face turned pensive. 

"Isn’t that ironic, though?” she asked quietly. “They went to England to start a new life…and I left there for the very same reason.” Charlie gave her a questioning look and Hermione sighed. 

“It’s a long story,” she said. “However, basically it all boils down to the fact that I married someone with whom I was in love…but who was otherwise completely incompatible with me. We stayed together for as long as we could. Then, after our inevitable divorce, I stayed in England for the sake of our two children. However, my youngest, Hugo, finally started Hogwarts in September…while my daughter, Rose, began her third year there, as well. Since it is the same boarding school that both their father and I attended together, I knew that they would only be able to come home for the holidays, anyway. Consequently, when I was offered my dream position here with MACUSA, I recognized it as a sign that I was finally ready to move on with my own life again.”

She paused briefly to smile at the idea before she continued her explanation. “That’s the main reason that I wanted to find a house soon - so that my children can have a real home here in the States where they can come and stay during the summer holidays. After all, it was a bit awkward when I had to stay with some of my former in-laws in England during the winter break in order to be with my kids. It was unavoidable, though - especially since even my best friend married into the family, as well.”

She sighed at the thought. She was grateful that she remained on amicable terms with Ron and the Weasleys, because she definitely wanted them in her children's lives. However, she also needed her own space and privacy, too. 

_Possibly for more reasons now than before,_ she thought hopefully to herself as she regarded the handsome man across the table with interest again.

Meanwhile, Charlie silently cheered at the news that the fascinating woman was single - even as he also instantly understood her situation. After all, he and Renee had gone through some of the same issues after their divorce. Eventually, it became so awkward between them, though, that he did not get to see Bella nearly as much as he would have liked while she was growing up. He still regretted that. He also did not see any reason to let Hermione and her kids go through the same thing – especially when he had the perfect place in mind for her. 

“I do have a possible candidate for a house,” he told her. “It’s a big isolated place that even has a little guest house. It would be perfect for your work – especially if you needed to bring…um… _clients_ …home with you or if you have friends visiting from England. I do have to contact the owners, though, just to make sure that they don’t mind. That should not be difficult, however…since they are now family…courtesy of my daughter’s marriage.”

“Do you mean that the house belongs to the Cullens?” she asked intuitively. 

He nodded cheerfully. “Since they have just settled in England, I don’t believe that they will have any plans to come back to Forks to live any time soon…so they may be willing to sell or lease it outright immediately. At the very least, however, after Carlisle and Esme find out who you are and hear your story, I’m sure that they will be willing to rent the place to you over the summer. That way you wouldn’t have to worry about trying to find another place that would work for you until after your kids go back to school in the fall. Then you will have all the time you need. However, I am almost positive that it won't come to that. Despite what most people think they know about vampires, the Cullens are actually very thoughtful and considerate. Even the pack, their sworn enemies, know that.”

“That would be wonderfully convenient,” Hermione sighed in relief and happiness at even the mere possibility that she could soon be out of the tent and into a place where she would be able to welcome her children.

Charlie smiled at her response. “If you like, I could take you to see the place tomorrow since I have a key. Plus, Bella or Nessie will probably call me tomorrow night. If it turns out that you like the house, I can discuss it with them all then.”

Hermione smiled at the thoughtful man from across the table as she reached over to take his hand with her own. “Is the Chief of Police always this kind and helpful to strangers?” she asked with a slightly teasing tone, “or am I just a lucky witch?”

Charlie found that he liked the feel of her hand in his...and the possibilities that such an act presented. “Well, I’d like to think that I am always this nice,” he replied honestly. “However, I suspect that my present company is really bringing out the best in me.”

Hermione felt a little thrill run through her at his obvious implication - right before she happened to glance out of the window and noticed how dark it had become. “Oh dear!” she exclaimed. “I didn’t realize how late it was.” She reluctantly let go of his hand as she quickly pushed her chair back and stood up. “I’ve been here for _hours._ I didn’t mean to intrude on your hospitality for so long! I am so sorry!” 

Charlie glanced at his watch, and was also surprised by the swift passage of time while he had been in deep conversation with his fascinating guest before he stood up, as well. “Don’t apologize!” he insisted. “I enjoyed it. In fact…” he paused as he gathered his courage. After all, it had been a _very_ long time since he had asked someone out. “May I take you out to lunch tomorrow, after we look at the Cullen place?” 

Hermione nodded in affirmation. “That sounds nice,” she told him honestly. “I would love to hear more about _you_ then - especially since I have been monopolizing the conversation all evening. Plus, I’d like to learn more about the area if I am going to settle here…and if Rose and Hugo will be spending time here, as well.”

“I’ll give you the entire tour, then!” Charlie agreed enthusiastically at the thought of spending the day with the fascinating woman and learning more about her life. “There’s not really that much to see, but…” he paused for just another moment before inspiration hit. “I can even take you to La Push afterwards and introduce you to Elder Billy Black…he’s a good friend of mine…and the pack, too. They are a naturally suspicious bunch, but they will be much more welcoming if you show up with me first.”

“That would be wonderful!” Hermione enthused. “After all of these months, my entire Census list will then be complete! After that, even though I will still have my normal regional business to attend to, I will have much more time to focus on my new home…and hopefully my new friends, as well.” She paused to look significantly at him then before she asked. “It’s definitely a date, then?”

“Definitely a date,” he affirmed, and he suddenly felt a bit like a giddy teenager at her acceptance. In fact, after they had exchanged numbers, he realized that he had a goofy smile on his face as he walked her to the door. All of a sudden, though, he remembered the strange noise that he had heard earlier…before her first appearance…and he asked her about it.

Hermione grinned mischievously. Then she leaned forward to give him a quick good-bye kiss on his cheek - right before she spun on her heel and disappeared on the spot with a loud _crack._

 _Well...that explains it!_ Charlie thought as he grinned in understanding. Then, as he reached up to touch the spot she had kissed, he suddenly found that he could not wait until the next day. He actually had a date with the most interesting woman he had ever met...and she was a witch! He wondered what Bella would say when he told her.

It was only then that his stomach rumbled, and Charlie finally remembered the unappetizing meal that was still in the microwave. He could not help but to grin again, though, as he realized that - even though it was really way too early to be thinking about such things - if everything went well with Hermione, maybe his days of eating solo meals would soon be over. After all, he already knew that he definitely would not mind cooking for _her!_

At any rate, it was obvious that both life and the supernatural world were certainly not done surprising him, yet. However, for once, he thought that was a _very_ good thing!


End file.
